yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
ok first of all what the fuck
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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