What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
