Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize