yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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