the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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