Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
