The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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