we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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