I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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