Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
