instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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