Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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