You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
