At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
