To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
