I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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