weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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