How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
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