I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
