I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
