You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Boobs speak an international language.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
