my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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