She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
