i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
