"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
my poor anus
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
