Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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