Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising