Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Who haven't you slept with?

(703): View more from Virginia

No one comes to mind.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

My first STD was from a foam party

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(206): View more from Washington

i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.

(425): View more from Washington

for sure. did you let him do it?

(206): View more from Washington

thats not the point.

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(909): View more from California

dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(515): View more from Iowa

John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

As in blowjob or cannibalism?

(515): View more from Iowa

I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.

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(303): View more from Colorado

i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'

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(646): View more from New York

But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.

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(404): View more from Georgia

Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.

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(517): View more from Michigan

Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present

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