Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?