peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize