Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?

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  (856): My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do? http://tfl.nu/j1dk
  Replies (52) Good night (648) Bad night (2131)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.

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  (740): He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy. http://tfl.nu/j5xn
  Replies (7) Good night (748) Bad night (2832)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.

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  (214): So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college. http://tfl.nu/20dw
  Replies (7) Good night (3597) Bad night (916)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.

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  (404): Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption. http://tfl.nu/47c6
  Replies (24) Good night (6153) Bad night (1227)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.

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  (305): I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me. http://tfl.nu/06ls
  Replies (21) Good night (5478) Bad night (2034)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.

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  (256): He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front. http://tfl.nu/08qp
  Replies (9) Good night (7576) Bad night (1059)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober

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  (224): Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober http://tfl.nu/war3
  Replies (15) Good night (2200) Bad night (847)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.

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  (502): She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't. http://tfl.nu/5w3y
  Replies (8) Good night (853) Bad night (2430)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.

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  (404): Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here. http://tfl.nu/lskr
  Replies (3) Good night (1531) Bad night (808)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.

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  (407): Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary. http://tfl.nu/ntpi
  Replies (4) Good night (1804) Bad night (527)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.

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  (775): Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form. http://tfl.nu/2bqh
  Replies (4) Good night (1503) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school

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  (912): It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school http://tfl.nu/xr6r
  Replies (9) Good night (857) Bad night (1854)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.

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  (607): I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know. http://tfl.nu/l46m
  Replies (3) Good night (1007) Bad night (492)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.

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  (203): Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off. http://tfl.nu/jh7m
  Replies (5) Good night (338) Bad night (872)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often

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  (+27): His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often http://tfl.nu/sl6l
  Replies (1) Good night (890) Bad night (224)

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