why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
