Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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