soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
do herpes really smell.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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