it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
