sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
All I want is dick and wine.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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