do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
