ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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