Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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