I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
