Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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