I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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