I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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