Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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