you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize