Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
