Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
