But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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