Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
