we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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