Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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