is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
