the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
