How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
