Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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