btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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