I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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