You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
