Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
