You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
