you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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