The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I need water and some morals
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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