My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Rumble strips road head = magical
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
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