Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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