you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
